Someone teach me how to tumble.........because right now I'm falling.

A tribute to those that have fallen, may you find your solace here.

5th October 2012

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Love and Hatred

They say that the people we hate are actually the people that we love. Because we hate them so much, we actually show that we have feelings of some sort for them still. So if I’m feeling a deep disappointment in the person you’ve become, does that mean that I still have feelings for you? 

16th September 2012

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Seriously

Sometimes you just need to shut the F up. I try really hard on my tumblr to be a nice and decent person, but today I have been pushed over the edge folks. This is the freakin last straw. If you cannot appreciate all that I do and have done for you then why should I even respect you? If you cannot even acknowledge my worth as a human being then why should I even talk to you? You limit me, hold me back, and set for me these rules that don’t make sense. Not only that, but then you go ahead and break them yourself as if that’s all fine and dandy. You’re excuse for being able to do that is because you are the bigger person, you are the better person, and you are a freakin Queen living among rats in society. You’re not a person, you’re a hypocrite. 

31st August 2012

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I’m so glad…

I’m so glad that you care so much about me mother. I can’t describe how I get the message really. Perhaps it’s in the way that you scream at me for sitting on the couch after a long day of school, or perhaps it’s the way that you instantly accuse me of doing nothing all day despite the fact that you haven’t yet asked me what I did today.

Maybe I get the feeling that you care about me so much in the way you threaten to have me walk the 80 miles to school. Or maybe it’s the way that you refuse to pay for the gas in my car even after I do all of the meaningless things that you require from me. Perhaps it’s the way that you tell me I’m a bum, or a slut just because I have dated more than 2 boys in my lifetime while you have married twice.

I think some of the best ways that you show you care though, are through the constant shouting at me to do my homework that has been completed all week, or to clean my room which is already spotless. Of course though, you know me best and can just tell from your room that my homework isn’t done. Another way you show your affection is by just all around denying me any right to go outside for personal pleasure. Of course I don’t need to see any of my friends mother, nor my boyfriend at that. How stupid I was to believe that they could possibly care about me more than you. Going to church? I must have been insane! You are the only God that I need mother, and I only need to bow to you and your every whim.

I’m so glad that you were able to take time away from you locking yourself in your room and going out to dinner to yell at me today. I may have already done what you asked, but that does not mean that you can’t yell at me for doing it earlier in the day. After all, what do I do all day other than drive 80 miles through rush hour and go to school 3 days a week for hours, do all of my homework online, fill out job applications to every company in our area and at the college. That’s hardly anything at all compared to you. A preschool teacher, with 5 growing children. You don’t have time to read them bedtime stories. That should be something left to my sister and I. You don’t have time to do the dishes, or make dinner, or clean the house. Best leave that up to me as well.

I’m just so glad that you get time to relax. That you don’t have to work so hard. After all, you totally don’t deserve to get your hands dirty with things like parenting, house chores, or family life. Best just leave that up to me, mother.

29th August 2012

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Show me how to love the unloveable. Tell me how to reach the unreachable. Help me to do the impossible.

29th August 2012

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You think that I’m just sad because I don’t feel well. Truth is I’m sad because it doesn’t seem you want to even talk to me right now. There’s a difference between being physically sick and being emotionally sick. It hurts more to be emotionally sick…

27th August 2012

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College vs. High School

Now I am a freshman college student, and I’ve been going to school since last Thursday. Here are some of the differences I’ve noticed between high school and college.

  1. High school is generically filled with cliques. It’s like a bad high school movie, where everyone is separated into jocks, preps, goths, geeks and so on. Except instead of the one kid from each group banding together to make school uniformity with other members of the other groups, the cliques just all stay separate and that’s how it is for the whole four years. College on the other hand, has little to no cliques. Somewhere along the way, people finally got past the whole “I’m too cool to be seen with the likes of you.” statements. As a result, you all just kind of mesh together in a whole group of failure and insecurity about growing up.
  2. In high school you get to know the members of your graduating class because you all “grow up” together. College isn’t like that. Each year you make new friends and try to hang out with old ones as you slowly drift apart. But this doesn’t bother you because your new friends are much more skilled at whatever class you’re taking currently than your old friends would be. Which means more time for study groups and other such activities.
  3. The kids that drank and did drugs/tobacco in high school may have been considered “cool” to your peers. Well in college no one really gives a crap. It’s more of a, “oh, you do drugs. That’s kind of cool. What did you get on that last math test?” instead of “YOU DO DRUGS OMG THAT’S LIKE, SO F***IN’ COOL!” 
  4. Most kids who come to high school aren’t ready to succeed. Over time they either figure it out, skate through their courses with C’s and D’s, or they drop out. In college, there are the ones that come to school knowing how well they’re going to do, and the ones that come to school knowing how much they want to party. Let’s just say if you heard that your school is the number one party school in the country instead of the fact that it also has one of the most impressive libraries in the state you’re in the latter category. 

Of course there are some similarities too, some of which I may have inadvertently covered in my differences section.

  1. The people who got good grades in high school with little to no prompting are still going to be the ones that get cheated off of in college. Face it guys, it’s just going to happen. Doesn’t mean you allow it, just get used to getting friendzoned if you’re a guy and led on if you’re a girl.
  2. There are still people with sucky personalities that didn’t change in high school. Yes there will be that one boy that cheated on you. Yes there will be that one b*tch that stole your boyfriend. The drama doesn’t end in high school, it just gets toned down.
  3. If you were that girl in high school that was quiet and shy, guess what personality you’ll have in college? Your personality doesn’t change just because you’re in college.
  4. School still sucks. “I’m sick” is still not an excuse for missing homework. “My grandmother died” will get you an, “oh i’m so sorry” speech and the demand for your homework or take home test. Also, it’s still very mandatory to go to. Of course they will tell you it’s all voluntary, but if you just spent hundreds on books and thousands on tuition or worked your tail off to get scholarships then it’s going to feel as if it’s mandatory.

20th August 2012

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A Rant on Parenting

There are just some things in the world that people should not be allowed to do. First off, when you are a parent and you express constantly this body language and air about yourself that you want NOTHING to do with your children then you are not allowed to randomly start calling shots as a parent.

When you are a parent and you randomly decide that you want to leave and don’t tell anyone, you are being not only an awful parent but also completely selfish towards your children.

When you are a parent and decide that your happiness is more important than your own children’s then I am sorry sweetie but you aren’t really a parent.

Being a parent isn’t about giving birth or “making” the baby. It’s about all the things that come afterward. It’s about going to dance recitals and football games, ballet classes and being there for the first day of school. Parent’s aren’t the ones who buy all the food, they are the ones that sit in the kitchen with their kids making the food TOGETHER. Parent’s are definitely not the people who spend thousands on a babysitter, but actually genuinely enjoy spending time with their children. Whether it’s finding out what fad their teenage daughter is into right now or how their son is doing in school, those are the things that parents just don’t let slip by.

Parent’s are people, mothers and fathers in the world that want to let their children know that no matter what happens to them in their lives, whether they screw up really badly or succeed, they will always be there for them to cheer them on and congratulate them when they do well, or help them back on the right track when they may have diverted.

The hardest thing I think that a parent has to do however, is let their children live their own lives. It’s easy to want the best for your children although here in America some of us would doubt that. It’s easy to send them to a “good school” for a “good education” and be the best mom or dad that you can be. However, it’s when you have to let a child make a mistake that you can foresee and have them learn from it that parenting becomes the hardest. Everything in a real parent’s heart makes them want to keep their children away from that, but they know that if they never experience it then they will never learn.

So while yes, you can give birth to a child (which good for you, you can procreate!) it takes a lot more to be a mom or dad, and even more to be a parent. I won’t judge circumstances, but to all you wonderful young women and ladies out there know that being a mom isn’t always everything. As a wise man once said:

"There is a time and place for everything. But not now." ~Prof. Oak

17th August 2012

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Kiss me beneath the milky twilight.
— Sixpence None the Richer

13th August 2012

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People

There is often that person that brings about a sense of nostalgia just by talking to them. When you speak to them in the many ways that society has for us to communicate, you get this feeling as if you are so much older than you were when you last talked with them. For some it may be their parents who they haven’t talked to in a long time. Others may find it’s an old flame, or a friend who was lost in the changing tides of time. No matter who it may be, I would like to impress on those who read this one thing. This person if they bring about this feeling… it means that at one point in your life you depended on them, trusted them, and may have even cared more than you thought physically possible. They were a significant part of your life. The “nostalgic” feeling you get when you talk to them is just your heart responding to them. It knows more than your brain is able to comprehend, and it is shedding tears at the fact that you must say goodbye again. Even if you hate them now, or hated them before. If you can’t imagine ever loving them or caring about them, this nostalgic feeling is evidence of your growth as a person, which they were very lucky to be a part of. 

1st June 2012

Photo reblogged from Oboe Fidelis with 615 notes

musicproblems:

submitted by: unacorda 

musicproblems:

submitted by: unacorda 

Source: musicproblems